You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
