I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
