Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
