What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
