is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
barbara walters just said penis...
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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