Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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