Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
