Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
