Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize