so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I love you.
Bad choice
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