she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you had me at cake vodka
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
