We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
third nipple confirmed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Floor bacon is actually really good
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize