I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
