Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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