Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
