I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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