I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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