Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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