That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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