I want to have your abortion
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
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