I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize