10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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