The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
