I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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