Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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