at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
