Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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