i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
