so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
