I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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