I want to walk on stilts...naked
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
