I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
