Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize