The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
