Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
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