So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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