when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
