Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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