It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
