Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
