She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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