your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
