Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
