Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
