New invention idea: vibrating tampons
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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