Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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