Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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