Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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