what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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