Its about making memories worth repressing
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
