so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Barsexuality is the new black.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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