hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You are a genius and a whore.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
