batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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