I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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