Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize