i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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