I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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