I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
