i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
