Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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