he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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