he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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