You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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