It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
