Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize