can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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